Barbilocks and The Three Wines

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful young maiden named Barbilocks. Barbilocks was under the spell of an extra, extra, extra large wine lover named Doakie who tempted Barbilocks with chocolates and sangiovese. After lots of chocolates, and even more bottles of wine, Barbilocks married Doakie and they moved west, eventually settling in the far, far, away kingdom of Cowiche in the magical land called the Yak.

One day, while Doakie was eating a large platter of chicken at a banquet, Barbilocks raised the number in her little hand and won a Grand Prize. Doakie became angry and tore the number into little pieces. But he still loved Barbilocks and she kept the tickets for the prize under her pillow.

After a long time, when the tickets had almost expired, Barbilocks made reservations to claim the prize, a weekend getaway to the Center of The Universe. Since it was a scary place, Barbilocks took Doakie along to drive her chariot.

They went out of the Yak and over the mountains, across the rivers, and over even more mountains until they got to the edge of the land, near the Sea(ttle). You may think it’s odd that The Center of the Universe is at the edge of the land, near the Sea, but it is so.

Barbilocks and Doakie found the small cottage near the Center of The Universe where they would sleep. This cottage was surrounded by green and blue trees, was gray and purple on the outside, and red and orange on the inside. It was a cozy and warm cottage and a magic code opened the door. Barbilocks and Doakie felt safe inside the cottage and the guest register listed other wine lovers from the land of the Yak and beyond who had stayed here when they came to the Sea. There was Charlie, and Eric, and Big John.

Outside the cottage, Barbilocks and Doakie went exploring the neighborhood in the Center of the Universe and found many, many, many strange and interesting things. Barbilocks wanted to get a tattoo, but Doakie was afraid. Barbilocks wanted to ride a Duck, but Doakie was afraid. Barbilocks wanted to visit the troll under the bridge, but Doakie was afraid.

What Doakie isn’t afraid of is wine. Barbilocks knew this and at every chance tried to find a wine that would make Doakie not afraid to get a tattoo, or ride the Ducks or visit the troll.

On the first day, Barbilocks and Doakie went to a place called the Hollywood Schoolhouse looking for wine. It looked familiar to a place near their homeland, the Jet Black wine tasted the same, and the people were nice, but they were different people and they didn’t hug Barbilocks and yell Doakie’s name when he came in the door. This made Barbilocks and Doakie sad, so they kept on looking.

On the second day, since they were near the Sea, Barbilocks and Doakie went to a place called Ray’s Boathouse. Since Ray’s is a popular place, Barbilocks and Doakie went to the bar to wait on a table and ordered a bottle of wine from a nearby Creek whose grapes came from the red mountain in the Yak that was bound to taste like home, there was even a horsey on the label.    Barbilocks and Doakie drank some of the wine, but since seafood is white, and the wine was red, something didn’t seem quite right and Doakie was still too afraid.

This made Doakie very brave, if only for a short while, and as long as Barbilocks was holding his hand, Doakie agreed to get a tattoo.  He didn’t even cry (much).

Barbilocks and Doakie went home to the Yak and lived happily ever after.

 The End.